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8月20日 终于可以回国了，九月三日回国，将会在上海，广州，武汉停留。
You Might Be A Ricer If…
You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has
horsepower.
You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear
wheels.
Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
17" rims up front, 13" out
back on your FWD.
You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your
car.
You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in
order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual
transmission
DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking
for.
Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO
steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.
A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your
custom paint scheme.
Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install
the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well
going in from the side.
The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service
under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...
Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of
your car by more than 1."
Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum.
You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get
them to stick out past the fender.
You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children
and clowns are driving them.
You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to
compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on
the rear...
Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative
camber, the better the handling."
You push your car through the staging lanes. That way,
maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of
aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear
seat for weight savings.
Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake
light...
The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod
work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.
You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground.
Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!
You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a
parking lot.
You install clear corner and brake lights.
You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted
it on the first speed bump you went over.
You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match
If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
if you can fit fist fuck your exhaust tip
You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!
If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod
you’ve done to your engine yet.
Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race
and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
EVERY car in your class has a turbo pushing double digits
worth of boost.
You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a
stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a
turbocharger system.
You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in
the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette.
The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in
the 1/4mile.
If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler
than your car does.
You think the Del Sol is a sports car...
A torque converter does NOTHING for your car.
You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance
If you think that horsepower is far more important than
torque
If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has
given you more than 5 HP.
If you have ever considered installing more than one set of
fog / driving lights.
If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you
just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T.- Your baseball cap is always on backwards when
you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards...
BE).
- You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company
that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai...
- If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP
of the door / window frame.
- If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music.
- MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast.
- Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed.
- Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for
each cylinder!")
- The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and
rods in other people's eyes.
- If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects
create a plow effect.
- If you have installed driving lights to compensate for
headlight blackouts / tape.
- If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are
impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine.
- If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not
point out if asked where those parts are installed.
- You think pushrods are a bad thing…
- Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds.
- Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your
1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R.
- You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for
weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc.
- If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you
will never take to the track…
- You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that
every time you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts.
- You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim
runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche.
- If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP
without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading.
- You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine.
- If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance"
went hand in hand
- If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and
asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter...
- If you've ever contemplated adding "TYPE-R"
stickers to your Sonata…
- If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your
springs by cutting them yourself ...
- If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club...
- You put Kanji on your Ford ZX2, Ford Probe, or Mercury Cougar
...
- You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda.
- You couldn't afford headlight masking, so you just painted
them with flat black Krylon and it's peeling. Badly.
- You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp.
- You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda (especially a V-TEC rotary
engined Mazda RX-7)
- You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment
- You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior
in performance to V8s.
- If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at
WOT.
- You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool
- You spend $500 for a giant hand welded tube for a muffler
with the weld marks extremely visible
- If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers
- If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators
- You have a front wing.
- If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the
stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers
- If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a
Weed Eater™
- If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate
dual exhaust is cool
- If you think colored head lights work better
- Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for
a REASON!
- If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod
to it
- You drive a Ford Escort station wagon with Kanji, wide tires,
and Limp Bizkit stickers on the rear hatch
- You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in
the car.
- You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat
him.
- You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car
is an automatic.
- You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice..
- Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you
after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory.
- after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and
fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner.
- Tell everyone about how you lost the cop
because of your "driving skills."
- you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat
turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm
sayin? Relate."
- Your idea of aiming a handgun is raising your arm over your
head, pointing the gun away from you, and then just letting your wrist fall to the side to
where the gun is almost sideways ...
- drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and
still live with your parents.
- You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For
A White Guy" by the Offspring
- you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your
car.. small, tight and hard to get into."
- You are a skinny, backwards hat wearing, dog chain wallet, 2 ft wide pants
leg, Limp Bizkit looking white boy fag with a badly applied peroxide hair color treatment
and temporary rub-on tattoos!
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